For the past week, I've been dreading it so much that I considered not taking the job and staying at home with Evan. But, thinking about it more, that's just not what I want to do. Sure, I really wish I was able to take full advantage of the 1-year maternity leave here in Canada, but am I willing to give up this opportunity because I have to start work a couple months earlier than I would like? The answer is no.
The great thing is they are being incredibly flexible with my needs because I'm doing them a favor by starting work earlier than I have too. I'll be working strictly from home in June and July, and potentially August. After that, I will probably work something out where I can be working from home some of the time.
Evan doesn't start daycare until August, and even then I'm considering starting him on a part-time basis so it's an easier transition. Him being at home while I'm working very well might pose a problem, so I am considering hiring a mother's helper or something to help out with him (any tips or suggestions on this?).
I am worried that I'll be having to work extended hours, in the evenings and weekends, and have to travel all the time. I know that I need to hammer out these details with my future boss so he knows what I'm willing to do and I know what his expectations are.
I am worried about going back to work, and wondering if it's the best thing for Evan and our family. But, as with any big change, I think it's worth it to see how it goes. If worse comes to worse, I can always leave the job. I just need to come to terms with my feelings about all of this, and that it's okay to not be 100% excited about it. After all, my priorities in life have changed over the past few months, so it makes sense that my expectations for a job would too.