Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Lacking Focus

Note: not looking for advice or anything, just need to get this out!

Last time, I touched on that I'm feeling that my life is lacking focus, and it's so true. There are just so many things on my mind and things going on that I sometimes just feel lost trying to keep up with it all.

Her's a snapshot of what's going around in my head:

Careers stuff
- Will I get into teacher's college? If so, can we really afford it? Will I be able to be a student again? What about finding a job afterwards?
- What if I don't get in, what will I do then? What kinds of jobs can I apply for with my background? Should I look into other certificate programs? If so, what and where, and how much will that cost? Would it be worth it?

(these things don't actually stress me out - or else they wouldn't be "hobbies" -  but just other things in my head while I'm making a list)
- Knitting: I really want to get this damn afghan done, and I want to work on Carter's sweater. I'd also like to try a pair of socks. Oh, and I'm a bit bummed that the knitting group I started has been a bit slow.
- Reading: There are just so many books I want to read. Can I read them all at the same time? Plus $$ for books.
- Blogging: talked about this last time.
- Oh yeah, and I want to learn how to play the piano!

House stuff
- This house is not meeting our needs, and definitely won't in a short time when Carter's up and about.
- Do we want to stay in our house and renovate or move to another house that would meet our needs better?
- If we stay, what projects do we want to do? What's a priority? What exactly do we want to do? How much will it cost? When can we do them?
- This house needs to be more organized! How much is that going to cost? When am I going to have the time to do that? What should I tackle first? What should I try to sell, or what should I donate or just trash?

Kid/Family Stuff
- Things to do while at home with Carter during the day
- What to do on the weekends to keep everyone happy and entertained
- When to put Evan back into part-time daycare
- When to start Carter in daycare
- Why is Carter waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, or waking up at 5am, and can we do anything about it? I'm guessing it's just a phase...
- When should we start Carter on solids and I completely forgot how we did that with Evan, so I should figure that out soon...
- When will DH and I be able to spend any tine together just the 2 of us?

Oh, and don't forget the random thoughts/flashbacks about the stroke (these are always fun). I sometimes wonder if I think about all these things, or want to do a million things, because my mind (and body!) was idle for a while?

Maybe there are just too many things going on right now, or maybe we're just busy and getting used to being a family of four. Maybe I'll feel better once I start school (if I get in) or get a job and have something that's only for ME.