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Friday, December 13, 2013

The Next Stage

The next big step in my recover from my stroke is to have surgery to get my bone flap put back in (the part of my skull that was removed in order to gain access to my brain to remove the bleed).

Tentatively, this surgery is scheduled for this coming Monday (Dec. 16th)! Ack! This came on rather suddenly at my appointment with the neurosurgeon on Dec. 6th. I was under the impression it would be done in January sometime, so doing it so soon was a bit of a shock.

And, as weird as it might sound, I'm not actually too nervous about the surgery itself, but about the hospital stay afterwards (which is only supposed to be 1-2 days (!! )). This is mostly because of my experience in the hospital after my last surgery. I did not write about that experience, but it was not a positive one. I remember feeling like I was treated like a child by the staff. I distinctly remember one of the nurses spoon feeding me (when I could feed myself), telling all my visitors about my..um...washroom business, and generally having no dignity or privacy. I get angry even thinking about it now. Yes, I was a stroke patient, but I was also a person, and didn't feel like I was treated with respect. I also felt ignored by many people, especially the doctors and specialists who seemed to stream in and out of the room and were only giving/getting information to/from my husband or other family members. I felt invisible.

I am much stronger now than I was then, but I find myself pre-emptively getting my back up about this hospital stay. I'll be dammed if I don't have a voice this time! I've been envisioning how I'm gong to be telling people exactly just how  things are going to go and when. Thankfully, after talking to my social worker, I've realized that might not be the best attitude to go into this with! Yes, I still want to make sure I use my voice if there is something that feels wrong or I'm uncomfortable with, but I don't plan on telling people off the whole time like I imagine!

Hopefully all will go well, and a few days later I'll be home with a normal shaped head. Wish me luck!

As an aside, I've been trying to find something to buy myself to commemorate this time in my life. I was thinking something like this neuron necklace:  If you have any ideas, please leave them in the comments!