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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Knocking Wood

Have you ever had a time in your life where everything is going so well that you wonder how long it's going to last?

After years of hating what I was doing during my PhD and subsequent post-docs and, at the same time, DH and I feeling like we were in constant limbo while we waited to see where we'd end up, and then suffering a miscarriage and wondering if we would be able to have a child...I feel like all the pieces have finally fallen into place.

DH found a permanent position here, and we bought a house. Shortly after that, I got pregnant again and we had Evan a few months later. During that time, I received a job offer, and now I'm doing what I really want to do --- and actually having a career, not just a job. I feel grounded. I feel happy. I feel incredibly lucky and blessed.

I know this won't last forever. I know one or both of us will want to (or have to) find a different job. I know, living with a 9.5 month old, things are always changing and I could be ripping my hair out next week. I know our roof could collapse, or someone could get sick, or we could get infested by ants at anytime.

But, as someone who has been living a rather nomadic life since moving out in 2002, I am really appreciating the concreteness of our life right now. I love that I pick up Evan on my way home from work, and we come home to our wonderful house. I love cooking dinner in our awesome kitchen, and then putting Evan to bed by reading him the same three stories every night. I love that we go grocery shopping and do laundry on the weekends. I love that DH and I get excited about going to bed before 10pm.

My 21-year-old-self would be wanting to slap me, I'm sure. But, life changes. Priorities change. Values change. Hobbies change. Even though I might bitch about things once in a while, I'm incredibly happy with life right now, and I haven't been able to say that for years.