Monday, April 4, 2011

Coming to Terms

It's now less than two months before I start my new job (no news to post about that yet, unfortunately, as it's still not "official" - though I'm getting all the meeting notes, am going to an event this week, and my name is going on conference abstracts). I'm not sure I'm ready to go back, but I guess most mothers feel the same way.

For the past week, I've been dreading it so much that I considered not taking the job and staying at home with Evan. But, thinking about it more, that's just not what I want to do. Sure, I really wish I was able to take full advantage of the 1-year maternity leave here in Canada, but am I willing to give up this opportunity because I have to start work a couple months earlier than I would like? The answer is no.

The great thing is they are being incredibly flexible with my needs because I'm doing them a favor by starting work earlier than I have too. I'll be working strictly from home in June and July, and potentially August. After that, I will probably work something out where I can be working from home some of the time.

Evan doesn't start daycare until August, and even then I'm considering starting him on a part-time basis so it's an easier transition. Him being at home while I'm working very well might pose a problem, so I am considering hiring a mother's helper or something to help out with him (any tips or suggestions on this?).

I am worried that I'll be having to work extended hours, in the evenings and weekends, and have to travel all the time. I know that I need to hammer out these details with my future boss so he knows what I'm willing to do and I know what his expectations are.

I am worried about going back to work, and wondering if it's the best thing for Evan and our family. But, as with any big change, I think it's worth it to see how it goes. If worse comes to worse, I can always leave the job. I just need to come to terms with my feelings about all of this, and that it's okay to not be 100% excited about it. After all, my priorities in life have changed over the past few months, so it makes sense that my expectations for a job would too.