Friday, October 1, 2010

Misery Wars

Misery wars are awesome, aren't they? People sure love to one-up each other, or to downplay the excitement of others.

These misery wars tend to fall into a few categories (if you can think of others, please share!):

The "my-life-sucks-more-than-yours-so-ha" war: in which the second complainer "tops" the first complainer.

"Ugh, it's so hot here!"
"Well, at least you only have to deal with dry heat. The humidity here makes it so much worse!"

The "know-it-all" war: in which someone who has been-there-done-that relays stories about how horrible what you're about to go through will be.

"I didn't sleep very well last night."
"You should enjoy your time to yourself now - just wait until baby arrives!!"

The "I-can-make-anything-about-me" war: in which someone twists your innocent comment into a tragic story about their life.

"So excited to go to Vegas this weekend!"
"Flying sucks though - the last trip I went on they lost my bags and I didn't get them until I got home. Totally ruined the trip. I hate traveling."

The "mwa-mwaaaaaaaa" war (aka Debbie-Downer war): in which someone totally rains on your parade.

"We just bought a house!!"
"Sure, you're excited now, but just wait until you get a leak in your basement, find mold in your attic, and have no money to spend on anything else."

This competition has become even more evident in my life now that I'm expecting my first child. People just LOVE to tell me how much life is going to suck once the little one arrives. Here are just a few (real) examples:

"Only two more months of work left!"
"You think raising a kid won't be work?"

"It will be so interesting to watch their development."
"Yeah, until they're teenagers and they're telling you they hate you all the time."

"You're house is really nice. Just wait until the baby comes though - you'll never live like this again".

I want to get little trophies to give out to people who just love to win misery wars.