Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tragic Loss

I usually don't blog about things like this, but I feel like I need too (not so happy things mentioned, so read with caution).

Yesterday, after being pregnant for 8 weeks and 3 days, I suffered a miscarriage. Things started to go wrong on Sunday afternoon, and we ended up going to a walk-in clinic. They couldn't do anything much for us, but said that what was occurring (small amount of bleeding) was normal and I shouldn't worry unless it got worse (heavier or with cramps).

At about 8pm the blood went from pink to red, so we went to urgent care. They took a blood sample and found that my Beta (hCG) levels were low, but still in the normal range. They made an appointment for me on Monday afternoon to get more tests and an ultrasound done. The bleeding seemed to slow, then speed up again, but nothing really bad and I wasn't having any cramping. We were scared, but hopeful that things would be okay.

As we were driving to the appointment on Monday I started to get cramping in my lower belly. By the time we got to the check in desk, I felt a huge gush of blood and ran to the washroom. I basically sat there for a few minutes, not really able to do anything but freak out and cry. By the time I went back to the desk, they had a room open for us. They asked me some questions about the pregnancy, and then took us to the ultrasound room.

They took a look around for a few minutes (which was super uncomfortable). The doctor showed us my uterus and that there was nothing inside. It was just thick with blood. DH and I were (and still are) both devastated. Even though it was early in the pregnancy, we both felt very connected to our baby, and miss them a great deal.

Eventually, we will start trying again, but for now we just want to grieve and lean on each other. I'm so grateful that DH has been with me throughout this whole process. I could not have done anything if he wasn't there guiding me every step of the way.

We are so appreciative of our family and friends that have supported us through this ordeal. We'd be happy for any positive thoughts you can send our way in this very trying time.

Your parents miss you, Baby G.