I realize, being a cat and all, you can't really read...but why must you puke on our carpet at the most inconvenient times? I mean, you can't do it while we're just sitting around doing nothing. Nope - it's got to be while we're sleeping (so we forget about it and end up stepping in it) or just as we're running out the door.
No wonder you're so hungry all the time! I mean, damn - you're bordering on bulimia here. How about you eat a bit slower so I don't have to clean up after you every second day? It's to the point where I just want to put it back in your dish so you can eat it again.
It's a good thing you're cute, and that you have your daddy to protect you.
your humble owner
PS: Izzie, don't think you're getting off scot-free - you're next!